Interview Notes

The newborn is 10 weeks old. Mom and Dad are not doing a lot out of the house yet. They are still searching for a routine with the sleeping and feeding schedules of the newborn. Feeding the newborn takes half an hour to an hour and that must be done every 4 hours. So, they have to plan what they can do in a day between feedings. The father is also working during the day. The mother is alone with the newborn then, which hasn't happened very often yet. She finds it difficult to figure out how to take care of herself and the baby at the same time, such as dressing him but also showering and dressing herself. Before this, she worked 4 days a week. She starts working again in six weeks. She is not necessarily dreading it, but it is difficult to figure out how to get everything done in the morning. Taking the baby to daycare for the first time is not going to be super fun. She is looking forward to working again though.   

The newborn has a lot of refluxes, hidden reflux, so a lot of swallowing and gagging. He can't lie on his back and cries a lot. This makes everything more difficult. In the first weeks, she had to hold him upright all the time because he couldn't lie on his back. Sleeping was difficult because the only safe way to let baby sleep is on their back, but that is not possible. “We divided night shifts, so someone was constantly sitting on the sofa with him to let him sleep upright.” This is not a normal situation. They have been sleeping in bed again for the last two weeks, he now sleeps on a pillow so he's a bit more upright. But he is still bothered by reflux, so he starts crying. The mother wakes up from small noises but the father does not, so only the mother often wakes up from the newborn's crying. Nights are the biggest problem now. They have to think about the routine constantly because he spits up quickly and cannot move too much or lie on his back after feeding.  

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Social life: in their group of friends, they are one of the first ones to have a baby. The others don't want to have children yet. Everything revolves around the baby now, and they have less time for other things. So they talk to their friends less. Things are getting easier with the newborn, though, so then they are able free up more time. They can then say they’re going somewhere else instead of having everyone over at their house. The spitting up of the newborn is getting less and less so they can visit other places more quickly.   

With household chores it is also difficult. Going to the toilet when the newborn is asleep and the mother can't put him down is awkward. They have domestic help every two weeks, but the house needs to be cleaned more often, which sometimes does not happen.   

Yesterday she had to be somewhere early in the morning for the first time alone with him. He needs to be fed every 4 hours. Yesterday the last time was between 23:00-00:00, then between 4-5:00. She fed him at 5:00, then laid him back down until 8:00. She had figured out one day beforehand the clothes he was going to wear so they had been taken to the room where he sleeps so she got him dressed immediately after waking up. She dressed and fed him, then quickly dressed herself. Took the newborn downstairs, laid him on a pillow on the couch. Then fed him again, but first made herself a sandwich. She then let him burp. Then they had to go. Stroller in the car, the newborn in the Maxi-Cosi. To the hospital. From the hospital he was still asleep so they went for a walk. Then they got home and she had to feed him again. She changed his diaper, he peed all over so she cleaned that, then got him dressed. The father was home so the mother took a nap. Then they had supper, then fed the newborn again, fed again in the evening, watched some TV, went to bed. They live in sort of a 4-hour cycle of feeding.  

They have 2 cars: one station wagon. The station has a base for the Maxi-Cosi. In her car there is no base so she uses the front seatbelt, which is a bit scary. Fiat is too old so there’s no isofix for the Maxi-Cosi.   

Last week’s highlight: days out with him, he sleeps well during walks/car rides. Last weeks lots of stomach cramps so they had tough evenings with just screaming. Last week on the weekend he was well-behaved though. Lots of walking, nice and quiet, lots of sleeping, you can tell from him too. They mainly go for walks to the city centre, go into town, go to the market to eat fish, take the car to the shopping centre, go to Ikea. Pretty simple things. As soon as the maxycosi gets a swirl and he gets put into the car, he sleeps.  

The expectations of the project she really has no idea, no idea what product she could use. Maybe something for dads who don't wake up to a baby’s crying. It's tricky though, she knows other mothers experience this as well, if you've just given birth and had pregnancy yourself, it can be very annoying that all those things depend on you. Fathers don’t do it intentionally. The mother is not breastfeeding so that already makes a difference, otherwise it would be even more rough. They have bottles that can prepared. They have milk powder that they adjust according to the newborn's weight.  

Communication between us and the mother is fine via WhatsApp. She is excited to collaborate, so a weekly summary in order to keep her up to date would be nice. Once every so often we will send her that update, we decide how often later. Wednesday is a good day for meetings because then the father will be home so she won't be alone with the newborn, so we'll keep doing this.  

The newborns cramps are decreasing now, but every night for the past 2 weeks he screamed because of cramps. They can't comfort him either so that’s very sad. The newborn was born 3 weeks early, not premature. He is dysmature, which means he is too little for the number of weeks of pregnancy, he looks like a 3-week-old baby. It could be possible that the reflux comes from being born prematurely, but babies born on time have it too. That gastric valve has yet to grow.  

Nicest things: since a week he wakes up smiling when he sees you. He is developing very nicely, smiling, making noises. He now seeks contact with you, more interaction.   

Babysitter: The grandmother likes to babysit, even when it’s not needed. So that's kind of nice that they can call any time. He does need a lot of care and her mother is also alone so that is not always feasible. Soon he will also go to childcare, but that is not in the weekend. So going parties is possible but not ideal. The mother doesn't have much energy yet, but she'll probably have more of it again in the summer. She doesn't necessarily want to be clinging to him all day.   

Both the father and the mother are going to work one day a week less than before. The mother used to work 4 and will be working 3, this is coming off parental leave. This means that the father and mother both get 9 weeks off, these days should be used before the baby turns one. They will both take one day a week. So the newborn will go to daycare 2 days a week (Monday and Thursday). The father is home Wednesdays, the mother will be home Tuesdays and Fridays.  

The mother experienced lots of pain in the pelvis during her pregnancy so she went in sickness leave from 24 weeks pregnant. After her pregnancy the pain was gone immediately. During the pregnancy the pain moved a bit to her back as well. Now she is not bothered by anything, the pain was due to hormones.   

They are seeing more people now who also have children, before this was less. They now have other social contacts. Some contacts dilute a bit more because they live a different life. They will probably get back in contact a bit more with some people when the newborn is a bit bigger but with some people they might not.